Best Damn Doughnut I Ever Ate


This past weekend I was at Smorgasburg in DUMBO with my wife and her parents (they’re fun and can outwit, outparty and outlast an Irish dockworker. Not kidding. I’ve seen it.). If you’ve never been, it’s a food festival where a bunch of different vendors set up shop for the day and sell tasty things that you can eat.

As with most things, I had a strategy. On this day, it was to give the event a once over, see what was being offerend and proceed accordingly. Seemed the best way to avoid prematurely packing it in.

Halfway through my scout I saw the most ridiculously amazing looking doughnuts and said, “That’ll be the cap to this day. You guys want to split one of those?” Emphatic head nodding followed.

The event was fun, the food we had was really tasty, blah, blah, blah… back to the doughnuts. They had a bunch of different options, many of which you might consider exotic. Blood orange, passionfruit with something or other. But, there was one in particular I had my eye on. A classic plain doughnut with chocolate icing and little cocoa nibs. Uh-huh. There was also a fantastical looking glazed that had me bouncing in my seat. Not that I was in a seat, but you get the metaphor.

By the by, a good strategy for a festival like this is to partner up and split everything you eat. It serves a few purposes: 1. you can taste more items and 2. you’re not gorging yourself to the point of regret and excess baggage.

So, we returned to the doughnut stand, lined up and requested a… HOLY HELL THEY’RE ALL GONE!

Not just from the makeshift display case. Gone for the day. No more chocolate iced. Donzo. Okey doke. How about a glazed? OUT OF THOSE TOO, HUH? All good. Realizing my strategy had bitten me in the ass, I scanned the case and my advancing competition and opted for a toasted coconut. It’s a glazed topped with bits of, you guessed it, toasted coconut. I figured, “I like coconut, I wanted a glazed, this was the last one, and I really wasn’t in the mood to go exploring among the ‘exotic’ varieties. Let’s go for it.”

We divvied it up among the four of us (confession, I may have taken the biggest piece. sorry.) and went to town. Ooooh weee, was that the move! It was, hands down, the best doughnut I’ve ever had. Ever. Light, fluffy, not too much glaze, a hint of saltiness to cop;liment the sweetness. A poet could do this more justice, but let’s just say it was damn good. Everyone agreed. Best doughnut, ever.

Eeeeerrruh! (that was a needle-off-the-record sound effect) “Wait… you… you eat… you eat doughnuts?!” you’re thinking.

Hell to the yes I eat doughnuts. A healthy, happy life, a life well-lived, isn’t about restrictions. It’s about mindful enjoyment. If you want something like a pornographic doughnut… have a pornographic doughnut. Just approach it with a sense of mindful enjoyment.

What does that mean? It means slow down, take your time, maybe share it with someone. You don’t need to beast the entire thing or wolf it down in .05 seconds. Have whatever it is at a time when you’re really going to enjoy it. So maybe forgo the shitty little brownie on the office cookie tray and indulge in a shared chocolate chip bread pudding at Blue Ribbon with someone you really like. Trust me, it will taste much sweeter and leave you with far less regret.

Then, surround that indulgence with eating choices that really support your fitness goals. And of course, move your body, i.e. – workout.

Life is too short to not eat and drink well. So, proceed accordingly.  

Ah yes, the doughnut proprietor. Certainly you’re wondering? It’s a place called Dough. They’re based in Bed Stuy Brooklyn and do festivals and events around town. If my wife should ever leave me, I may try to woo the owner.


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